Browse Tag: motorcycle chase

RECAP: Diamonds Are Forever

Diamonds Are Forever (1971): Guy Hamilton

George Lazenby had one go at James Bond and said sayonara, welching on a seven-picture deal, which seems insane, but you have to consider he went on to appear in [three bad movies].

Sean Connery decided that maybe Bond wasn’t such a bad character to play, so he came back. Helping sway him was a then-record salary of £1.25 million.

ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: James Bond battles his arch-nemesis Ernst Stavro Blofeld, for we swear is the final time, who is at the apex of a diamond smuggling outfit and determined to make the great powers cower with them.   Continue Reading

RECAP: The Dark Knight Rises

The Dark Knight Rises (2012): Christopher Nolan

How do you follow up one of the most successful movies ever made? If you’re Christopher Nolan, you don’t worry about it. You make Batman go away for awhile, maybe retire. Make him vulnerable. You ignore the transcendent greatness of the previous villain. Oh, and you throw in a nuke.

ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: A masked villain terrorizes Gotham with a nuclear bomb while an injured Batman tries to stop him.  Continue Reading

RECAP: Mission: Impossible-Fallout

Mission: Impossible–Fallout (2018): Christopher McQuarrie

Ethan Hunt returns to clean up the mess he left after the events of Rogue Nation. The first straight sequel in the six-deep franchise, Mission: Impossible–Fallout also returns the chief villain from the last installment in 2015.

ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: Ethan Hunt finds that the past can haunt you, as people from his past crop up left and right, and there’s some nukes in the wind.  Continue Reading

RECAP: xXx: Return of Xander Cage

xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017): D.J. Caruso

Sing it with me: What the world needs now/is love, sweet–XANDER CAGE MOTORCYCLE SKI SURFING.

What happens when an actor gets a little bored of his multi-billion-dollar action franchise? He works in his multi-million-dollar action franchise.

Look out, Earth, Xander Cage is back, and he’s EXTREMELY EXTREMER THAN EVER.

ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: XANDER CAGE SKIS JUNGLES; XANDER CAGE SLEEPS WITH HOT WOMEN; XANDER CAGE PLAYS GRENADE ROULETTE; XANDER CAGE SAVES EARTH. Continue Reading

RECAP: xXx

xXx (2002): Rob Cohen

The makers of xXx probably got sick of James Bond movies being so wussy. They wanted an American answer bred in the streets, in the projects, from the best and brightest the non-debonair classes have to offer. They invented Xander Cage.

Capitalizing on his Fast and Furious success, Vin Diesel plays basically the same character. xXx could be a Dominic Toretto origin story until he’s recruited by the NSA.

ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: An EXTREME daredevil joins the NSA to hunt Russian anarchists determined to overthrow governments while listening to Rammstein. Continue Reading

RECAP: Jason Bourne

Jason Bourne (2016): Paul Greengrass

Strap on your puke bags, kiddos, because Greengrass and Damon are back to shaky-cam you to oblivion. After a forgettable Bourne outing minus Bourne, Matt Damon returns to the fold for a cool $25 million, and to right a few more wrongs buried in his forgotten past.

ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: Jason Bourne returns to the grid to find out what his father had to do with Bourne’s crappy adult life as an assassin.   Continue Reading

RECAP: London Has Fallen

London Has Fallen (2016): Babak Najafi

After an OK debut at the box office, the studio decided to give Gerard Butler another chance. Saving the president, singlehandedly, wasn’t enough of a challenge for him on home turf. This time, they sent him to England.

ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: The world’s most unfortunate president is again held hostage, but he’s got the world’s best bodyguard to fight for him. Continue Reading

RECAP: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015): Guy Ritchie

Guy Ritchie’s interpretation of the 1960s TV spy classic was the first of two 2015 films to depict Berlin’s famous Checkpoint Charlie, suspect Number One to be flashpoint of World War III.

You can learn all you need to know about the style of these two movies (Steven Spielberg’s Bridge of Spies was the other) from how they film this checkpoint.

In The Man from U.N.C.L.E. a dapper man confidently walks to the checkpoint in the summer in bright daylight. In Bridge of Spies a car slowly creeps to the checkpoint at night in a snowstorm. Ritchie tells us to get ready for some fun, and style, and that’s what we get.

ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: Mr. Solo, a suave womanizer (no, a different Mr. Solo), teams up with a KGB agent and a car mechanic to track a black market atom bomb.  Continue Reading

RECAP: Mad Max

Mad Max (1979): George Miller

George Miller, on the road as a traveling doctor, shot a little movie about a cop fighting some thugs terrorizing rural, gas-starved Australia. Miller had spent some time in an ER, where he treated accident victim after accident victim, fueling a phobia of the road that turned into a, so far, four film franchise and launched the career of an unknown actor named Mel Gibson. Not bad for a doc.

ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: Well Adjusted Max fights crime in a crumbling society until a motorcycle gang kills his wife, driving him Mad.  Continue Reading

RECAP: Jurassic World

Jurassic World (2015): Colin Trevorrow

Ah, remember the 90s? A decade when Steven Spielberg wowed us with a Michael Crichton story about dinosaurs; a chaos doctor; and some geneticists who, doggone it, just wanted to make kids smile?

Sure you do. Jurassic Park is a classic popcorn movie, and in 2015 we finally got a sequel. Yes, Jurassic World IS the sequel to Jurassic Park. Say it again: Jurassic World is the sequel to Jurassic Park. One more time: Jurassic World is the sequel to Jurassic Park.

ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: Crazy scientists and investors make a crazy-dangerous dinosaur that goes on a crazy rampage through the crazy-expensive Jurassic World theme park. Continue Reading

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